Thursday, March 19, 2009

weak

2008 has been the worst year in my entire life. It is pretty ironic since number 8 is known to be a good luck number. But for me it was not. It was a shattering one. In all aspects I was challenged as a person. It was indeed the hardest part…I can not put into words the exact emotion I was feeling then. One thing was absolute…I was facing such a big trial and living with it each day was terribly difficult. Everything was a mess. I was at my weakest.
People were unaware of what I was going through since there was no trace of sadness on me in spite of the things that bother me. They did not know that I was trying to be strong for myself and for other people. Some of them even made me a shock absorber without knowing that I was carrying such a heavy load myself. I was trying to smile by hiding all my tears. I was living in pretense. I was trying to be numb.
I told myself that this was a just a test of my faith. Going through the process of acceptance requires so much strength and I did not have that kind of power yet because I felt so helpless. The only weapon I had was prayer. And my constant encounter with God helped me in many ways. I accepted reality and tried to live with it slowly. Life is still beautiful and will always be beautiful no matter what.

2 comments:

Brigitte said...

yah i know, everything was really tough.

Elay said...

life isn't just the way we would want it to be for circumstances change. It is our response and attitude toward the unwanted situations count.

It's always a matter of having the right heart. A matter of giving the correct response in order to overcome the situation.

God Bless.